Change.

Sometimes you can't help the feeling of disbelief. Point blank.

I went into camp with a slightly negative view, but came out of it with more certainty. It's the feeling of something so small that can ruin your experiences, and that happened to affect me.

The attitude that I try to reflect upon others is positivity. I come off with a positive sense and a really kind characteristic. But that won't cut it for certain situations. When you have a high-standing position, you're supposed to take charge...that's just an automatic trait to portray. I felt like the past year, I have been such a push-over. It bothers me that when I see that word it reminds me of myself. Not to say that being a push-over is a bad thing, but it also is not necessarily a good thing, either. When I try to stand my ground, it is not firm, therefore I felt that I did not get the respect that I deserved. Honestly, it kind of hurts my heart to be treated this way, but I can't blame the situation.

This year, I want change. Hopefully not completely as a person, rather, a change in my leadership. A change that will help me stand my ground but will not put me out of line or character. I am not willing to completely change myself for respect. I want to earn the respect, give the respect and also respect myself and what I believe in. I pray to overcome the obstacles I know I will face this year. It won't be easy, but knowing that I can say what I need to say and keep my confidence...will be a goal that I've accomplished. I guess until then...I'll have to play it by ear. But, it starts now. I'm ready for whatever there is to come because..what does not kill me, can only make me stronger. And, whether I fail or succeed, The Lord is by my side with the next piece that's suppose to fit my puzzle.

Sincerely Always,
Mariann